How to Overcome Anxiety About Moving to a New Place

Ease any anxiety about moving with practical advice on setting yourself up for a happy and fulfilled life in a new place.

Moving to a new place can be frightening due to many uncertainties.

If moving abroad were a sport, I'd compete at an Olympic level. Growing up in Austria, spending my summers at my grandma's in Romania, going on an exchange to Argentina, studying and working in the UK, and now doing my Master's in the Netherlands has made me somewhat of a moving veteran. Along the journey, I have met many fellow expats and international students who had more countries on their list than I do. Our combined experiences have provided me with a practical toolset on how to set up life in a new place, as if it's just going to your local grocery store. No anxiety needed at all.

If you're considering shaking things up a bit for the plot, or you have received a job offer or study place elsewhere, read on for my list of advice on moving anxiety-free.

1. Look for shared housing on Facebook or Spareroom

   Living entirely alone in a new place without knowing anyone is a recipe for loneliness. Even if your new housemates don't end up being your close friends, saying "good morning" to someone means everything if it is the only conversation you will have all day. An added bonus is that you will have immediate contact with new people, without the awkwardness of approaching strangers. Take the initiative to meet up with your housemates by cooking dinner together, having a movie night, or playing card games. Please encourage them to have friends over so that you can meet new people. Set up a group chat where you can discuss domestic matters, like who is using the bathroom for 45 min during their everything shower (hehe, me). If you don't get on with your housemates, you can always move later on when you already know people.

   
   

2. Sign up for a gym/sports club and attend frequently

   Running clubs are all the craze right now, but I know they can seem daunting to beginners. I once ran a half-marathon, but I still don't have the endurance to run and speak simultaneously. Additionally, I could never use run clubs as dating platforms because I doubt my level of attractiveness is high when I'm tomato-faced, frizz-haired, and unable to communicate. Luckily, there are plenty of other sports to try. For example, I once set up dance lessons that I taught every Saturday, and then sometimes we would go for brunch afterwards, and I met lovely people this way. If weightlifting at the gym is your thing, I have met so many people there just by going frequently at the same time slot.

   
   

3. Avoid working from home, even for remote work

   Kick comfort to the curb when you've just moved to a new place, so get up extra early to get to the office or the library. The purpose is to develop a daily routine by getting ready in the morning, leaving the house, and seeing and being seen by people. If you can work and study remotely, take advantage of exploring the new city by visiting a different workplace each day. Take public transport to familiarise yourself with the route and the commuters; this will also give you a sense of orientation and safety in a new environment. Just avoid being stuck at home all day when you don't have a social circle yet. Once you're settled, you can return to working from home occasionally.

   
   

4. Join (or organise) a cultural club/ society

   As previously mentioned, I used to teach dance classes, which created a whole new social circle for me, so I wanted to do something similar but try a new practice. I have always wanted to join a book club because I love to read, and it would be a wholesome method of meeting like-minded people. The only issue was that I couldn't find one I liked that was also held in English, so I set up my own! I just walked up to the only Anglophone book club in town and asked them if that was something they were interested in. A couple of days later, we sat down to discuss details, and we are now in the planning stages. I am eager for the first meeting and the people I will meet, but I also take pleasure in the excitement of trying something new.

   
   

5. Try apps for meeting people (Bumble BFF, Meetup)

   This is very much a hit-and-miss, but it is also a foolproof plan to get some good stories in that will give you and your friends back home a good laugh. I have met some lovely people via Bumble BFF, and a friend of mine has had a lot of success with Meetup, but there have also been some more questionable characters. Hey, that's life. The point is to feel like you have agency over meeting people without the pressure of approaching a stranger who is not looking to make new friends. The sense of control over socialising will reduce any loneliness, because when you are alone, you have the possibility of changing it with a click on an app. The important thing when meeting people online is to go to public spaces only at first, just to err on the side of caution.

   
   

6. Schedule regular FaceTime with loved ones back home

   At times, you may feel like you don't have anyone in your corner, and it can become overwhelming very quickly. Most of the time, the root cause is that we forgot about the support network back home. Distance is not a significant disruptor of relationships in this digital age of FaceTime. This is why it is crucial to schedule regular (ideally weekly) FaceTime sessions with your family and friends. It will give you consistent reminders that you have people to come to for help, or just casual conversations about your week. Additionally, your loved ones back home are likely curious about your new experiences and how you're adjusting to your new life.

   
   

7. Push yourself to solo adventures

   There is power in the ability to go to places by yourself without being bothered by it. But it is a skill that needs to be practised often. So, take yourself on a cinema date, go to a restaurant or café by yourself, and even plan concert or museum visits all on your own. Do it often and repeat until you no longer feel insecure about being there on your own, and what people might think of you (heads up, they will think you are a badass). In secret, most people want to have this ability to be by themselves in peace, so it is quite admirable when someone appears to do so. Similarly to using apps to meet people, pushing yourself to go on solo adventures will give you a sense of agency over being alone. It is by choice, and you are completely fine with it. Life doesn't have to stop being fun and active just because you don't know any people yet. Sometimes, it takes courage to go somewhere by yourself that will introduce you to the people you are destined to meet. And it is easier to approach an individual by themselves than a group of people.

   
   

8. Familiarise yourself with common phrases in the local language

   If you are moving abroad to a country where you don't speak the local language, download apps like Babbel to familiarise yourself with common phrases, such as "Good morning, have a nice day, please and thank you". I have had many awkward encounters with locals who just wanted to ask if I needed a bag for my purchase, and I insisted that I did not want the receipt. You don't need to learn the language fully if you plan on being there for a limited time, but be aware that you will exclude yourself from the culture and interaction with locals if you don't make at least an effort. People (anyone who isn't French) are usually over the moon when foreigners try to say something in their language.

   
   

9. Use social media to meet people from your home country

   In the event of inevitable homesickness, search for Facebook groups or TikTok accounts from people moving to the new place from the same country. For example, I have a Mexican friend who found a "Mexicans in the Netherlands" Facebook group. She posted an image of herself with a short description, and a girl responded. They got talking and they ended up moving in together after a few calls. As a result, she has a piece of home whenever she goes "home", someone to sit in the same boat. Ultimately, it lets her know that she is not alone. The only danger is that you may become less motivated to connect with locals because their life experiences will be so different from yours. Therefore, make an effort to connect with other people, so that you can take advantage of exploring the new place. If you wanted to be friends with only people from your home, you might as well have just stayed.

   
   

10. Embrace the blank canvas that a new place grants to your personality

    The most exciting part about moving to a new place is that you get the chance to start over because no one knows your past self. Congratulations, you were just gifted with a blank page that many people don't get in life. Do you feel like you have become much more confident and outgoing, but when you meet the people who have known you as a shy and insecure person, you revert to your old patterns? Well, moving is the best opportunity to reinvent the person you want to show up as, and none of the new people you will meet will know otherwise.

    
    
    
    

    I hope this guide will help your approach to moving and provide useful tips to make the most out of one of the most incredible experiences I have ever had!